Group of People

There may be an actual word for this, and I am just ignorant of it; but what do you call a group of humans?

There is a flock of geese, a herd of cattle, a school of fish...but what is a collection of people labeled as?

Earth on Mars???

So, if you were standing on Mars, and you shovelled a collection of rock and soil and set it aside, would you say that you gathered some earth? Is it possible to gather earth on Mars?

Likewise, if you were to uncover a buried object on Mars, could you say that you unearthed that object? Or did you unmars it?

Earth-Saving Diapers

I'm gonna throw an idea out there. Because I don't have the time or money, I unfortunately can't act on my idea; however, I do encourage any ambitious readers to take my idea and run with it.

The key to saving the earth is in diapers.

What if a diaper was invented that people could wear, and it would trap the gasses released by the wearer. Fart = stored gas.

At the end of the day, the wearer would take off his diaper and transfer the gas in the diaper into a holding tank of sorts. Then, the holding tank would use the gas to power such things as, but not limited to: furnaces, stoves, ovens, fireplaces, etc.

WOW!!!!

Saving the world one diaper at a time....

The Proverbial Fork In The Road

Up until now, I have never faced that daunting fork in the road which others seem to speak of. I always approached life in a manner such as, "I'll make whichever decision seems right to me and others and take whatever comes." I never found myself stressing over a decision.

Not that I am necessarily stressing a decision right now, but I have found myself standing at the fork and having a difficult time discerning which path is the better path (if there is a better path). And the crazy thing is that I knew 5 months ago there was going to be a decision that had to be made and at that time, I made my desicion. Then, all of a sudden, I find myself know being torn between the two options.

Its a crazy thing, I tell you. I feel like this is my rite of passage into the human race. Animals don't ponder things...they just do. Humans are the only idiots that stress over decisions. I guess I am finding myself graduating from the ranks of animals into humanity. Hmm?

The Necessity of Extremes...The Necessity of Contrasts

I was thinking, and briefly the thought came into my head, "the way to be happy all the time is to not want anything. That way, one will never be disappointed and will never have a reason not be be happy."

Thats a bunch of bullcrap. Pretty soon, the part of my brain that actually puts together logical thoughts while I think kicked in and said, "Dude, you are an idiot."

If we never want anything, sure, we will never be disappointed. But at the same time we will never be pleased. We will never have the satisfaction of receiving something that we want. Therefore, we will never be happy. Without 'want' we would be a flatline of monotone emotion. Who wants that?

We need cravings. We need to experience sadness of not getting something so that we can more fully appreciate the happiness we have when we do get something. We need to see Satan's sinfulness so that we can more fully appreciate God's holiness. We need extremes. We need contrasts. Besides, we like contrasts and extremes.

In nature, we enjoy the beach because it is where water meets land. We enjoy looking at the horizon because it is where sky meets land. We like contrasts.

There. I said it. ...not because I needed to but because I wanted to.

Life Lessons Learned From Camping....Stories From The Chronicles of Old McJunk

Old McJunk decided to go camping. He drove for hours upon hours (in a truck) until he arrived at Garner State Park. He arrived there and discovered that there were no camping spots available. "Crap."
So as to not fall into a pit of despair, Old McJunk entertained himself in the state park by throwing a football, swimming in the river, and running across low-leveled areas of the river (the Frio River, that is).
Come the evening, Old McJunk decided to find a place to camp. Because all the spots in the park were booked solid for the night, he drove outside the park to find a campground. To no avail, Old McJunk was denied any good luck in the department of finding a campground.
This is where the life lesson comes from. Let me say, "A bridge is not only a route to and from something...it can also be a shelter." Yes, that is correct, a shelter.
You see, Old McJunk, being frustrated at the lack of available campsites, pulled off the highway and found a nice looking (and by nice looking I mean average looking) bridge. He parked his vehicle (still a truck) and set up his tent. That night, he enjoyed a nice evening of camping 'neath a beautiful bridge.
So you see, a bridge can be a shelter, too. Sometimes you need to use bridges to cross. Sometimes you can use bridges to be sheltered. Its your choice.

Camping Tips...by Old McJunk

Camping Tip #1....know where you are camping.
One time, a long time ago, Old McJunk went camping. It was late at night and we were desperate to set up our tent and hit the sack. So, we saw a small road that led us behind some buildings and through some trees. After a few hundred yards, the narrow road opened up into a nice clearing. Being a dark night, we were unable to see very far into the field.
So, we parked our truck and pitched our tent. Sweet dreams we thought to each other.
The next morning we heard small objects hitting the ground. The objects were not landing too closely to us, but close enough to take notice of them.
After lying awake for a few moments in the tent, Old McJunk arose and stepped outside of the tent to do what people do in the morning. To our surprise, Old McJunk saw that we had an audience a few hundred yards away. Why was there an audience, you may ask?
There was an audience because Old McJunk decided to pitch camp in a golf driving-range. Old McJunk realized that we and our tent were probably the target of a handful of golfers teeing off.
After waving, smirking, and grabbing a few golf balls, Old McJunk packed our tent and drove off.
Although everything turned out alright this time for Old McJunk, things could have been much worse...imagine if any of the golfers were decent golfers...
Camping Tip #1....know where you are camping.....or else you might be struck in the head by a golf ball in your sleep.

The True Color of Things

My objective here is to set forth the truth concerning the true color of an item.

Why do we see a particular item being a particular color? Simple, because the color we see is the ONLY color that is not absorbed by the item and is instead reflected into our precious eyes.

If I look at a red apple, the apple is absorbing all the light rays except for red ones. If red is being reflected off the apple, and therefore is not a part of the apple, then the apple cannot be red. Instead, the apple is every other color except for red.

Lets start calling things what they are. A "red" apple is not a red apple. Instead, it is an anti-red apple.

If Chickens Could Time Travel

If chickens could time travel I am sure that they would go back in time and meet Adam. Then when it came time for Adam to name all the beasts of the field, they would somehow get Adam to call them poop instead of chickens.

Back to the present...instead of us saying that everything tastes like chicken, we would be saying that everything tastes like poop.

Homophone Sequences (4)

If the word "bye" was worth $5, then I would buy "bye" by the handful.

The Offspring Now Outnumber the Wives

As was once a race among the Helena Boys: How long would it take before the 2nd generation Helena Boys outnumbered the Helena Boy wives?

As the balance has now been tipped (4 second-tier RBs, 3 "I do"ed RBs), I find it appropriate to recount a few memories from when times were different.

Adam - You lived in a very small room. However, that did not stop Barry, El Spaniard and I from sneaking into your room one night while you were asleep and marking on your face with what else but a marker.

El Spaniard - You were the first (and only) Helena Boy to ever have the Aaron Carter poster on your door. You earned the requisite number of demerits first and proudly displayed a poster of an NSync's younger brother on your door like only you can...even though the poster was meant to be a punishment.

Junk - Your dog was a menace to society. He tore up blinds...he left enough fur on the ground to cover a new dog every week...he ran away...he was a bad influence on my Saintly Augustine. On another note, your bedroom was quite large and you had your own full bathroom.

Barry - You were maniacal about your bed. That did not deter the rest of us from all getting in your bed one night and waiting anxiously for you to get home from work so that we could surprise you. Maybe you held in your emotions all too well, but I was expecting much more of a comical outburst than from what you delivered. Nonetheless, you are a person.

Me - I loved the interior brick wall that we had.

Now go be fruitful...and multiply.

Rainbow Buddies....Unite, and Almost Get Arrested!

To my former roommates:
...2 whom aren't on the blogsite.
...1 whom doesn't ever read this blogsite.
...and 1 whom reads it but never contributes....

I was inspired a couple of days ago when I was talking to Mr. Barry Charlie Apel II on the phone. We were catching up with each other's lives, you know, doin' the fiddle. Anywho, we had to end the conversation on the abrupt side of things because Mr. Barry Charlie Apel II was being pulled over by a cop.

Now, unfortunately, the Helena Boys are no strangers to confronting the Law. Whether it be from a loud house-party to spending time on a roadside near the airport....we have shared the honor of facing the Law...together...as roommates...nay, as Rainbow Buddies. In rememberance of these times spent together, and because I couldn't help but to wonder if I had anything to do with Charlie getting pulled over, I have decided to continue this tradition in spirit and make a new goal.

The new goal....I want to be responsible for each one of my Rainbow Buddies being confronted by a cop.

Let the games begin.

From Now On I Will Use "ghoti"

I don't know if you know this, but the original spelling of "fish" was actually "ghoti." Its true. Very true.
You see, unlike today, when English was first developed it made sense. It followed rules. Somewhere down the line (thanks to the British), the English language got severely contorted. But back to the "fish/ghoti" matter:
Check out these pronunciations:
ghoti...."gh"oti...."gh".....rough.....rou"gh"....gh, as in F
ghoti....gh"o"ti...."o".....women....w"o"men.....o, as in I
ghoti....gho"ti"...."ti"....fiction......fic"ti"on.....ti, as in SH
You see, "ghoti" can be pronounced as "fish" and indeed it was back in the day.
From Now On I Will Use "ghoti". I hope to eat some ghoti for dinner soon.

Martin Luther in the Mass

Last week at mass, we sang the song "A Mighty Fortress."

Peculiar...a Catholic congregation singing a song written by Martin Luther.

Interesting.

personal reality

one night he prayed for me, while sweating blood
when danger came i only fled
what was i thinking when i thrust, that crown of thorns
down on his head
why did i spit on my best friend
why did i stab him with my very hand
how could i have done this wretched thing
abuse and torture, my god and my king

he said, i knew you before you knew me
all of the pain, i could foresee
i knew that someday, i'd hang on a tree
only to set you free
now run to me child, and i'll hold you close
hold on to me, and never let go
i'll show you how to go down the right
it might be hard, but its worth the fight.

Birthdays

So whenever you have a birthday, you are the one that is typically celebrated and congratulated...right? But, why?

The way I see it, the mother is the one deserving of all the credit. Mom went through 9 months of work...work that culminates in an event that I will never envy...to give you your birthday.

I mean, what has the birthday boy/girl done to deserve any congratulations or celebrations? Next time it is your birthday, call you mother...tell her congratulations....tell her thanks.

Homophone Sequences (3)

So you are saying blue is the color of the sea? Si, see the blue water...

The Hour of Lies

This post is in close relation to the previous post.

When I am singing and worshipping God, I find that I am often times lying. Ironic? Why do I lie when I am worshipping God? ...the time when presummably I should be furthest away from lying?

How many times do I sing words to a song expressing how I feel when I don't truly feel that way at that time? How many times do I sing words to a song expressing what I have done or will do when I truly haven't or won't do them?

"I bow down..." I confess, usually when I sing these words, I am not bowing down.
"I surrender all..." I confess, there is much in my life that I have not surrendered.
"In all I do, I honor you..." Bull-malarchy! Unfortunately, there is much I do that does not honor God.

Why do I lie so much when trying to worship my Father?

Yes, often times the words are conveying a general attitute or emotion. Often times it is a cry of intent. However, worshipping God should not be taken lightly, and I fear that often times I do just that.

It has been a while since anyone has posted anything; and by anyone I mean me, because I am the only one who posts to the site. So with the intro being typed, now to the point of the matter:

Worship. How much has worship become more about oneself than about God?

I was at church today and listened to the words that were being sung during the praise and worship. It was amazing to listen to how much of the songs were being sung about ourselves and only indirectly about God. God was often the object and not the subject of many lines.

"I surrender all..." "I will worship..." "I bow down..." etc. etc.

...and not that it is wrong by any means to express yourself and how you feel. But when focus is lost on God when we are attempting to worship God; well, that just doesn't seem quite right. Why do we express how we feel and what we do or do not do (do or do not do??? too many 'do's') when we are attempting to express who God is and lift up His attributes?

Next time you are worshipping God through song, listen to the words you are singing. Then decide: is the focus of the song on you? ...or is the focus of the song on God?

Failure

So I heard someone say, "I don't think we should strive for perfection....that only sets us up for failure." This was in reference to living a Godly life.

May I say, "Hogwash!"

The way I see it...failure is one way in which we realize our need for our merciful, omnipotent God. We MUST strive for perfection....that is what God wants out of us. When we unfortunately fail, that is when God displays his mercy by covering our shortcomings. God atones for our failures when we realize our mistakes and grasp for His help.

Summary: Perfection is something that we should always strive for. Because of any failure that is inevitable, God is able to display his mercy and power and therefore we have that much more reason to love and worship Him.

**We should not strive for perfection SO THAT God can atone for our failure**
**God's atonement is an awesome remedy for our failure**